Renuvatio

Today is Monday, April 27, 2009, my name is Brett and this is The Mystic Fool.

um, hello

As you may be able to tell, I am new to blogging- blogging, first I HHHHHHATE that word. Can't we find some other word to replace it that sounds more, I don't know, clear? Less like a noise you make after a night of beer pong and tequila shots? Blog is a hideous aputation of the word weblog which is another made up word for the internet. While I am new to this phenomenon(do doo do do doo) I feel a need to make it my own and go against the norm as is my nature to do from time to time. Okay, that's not exactly true because this particular writing style is an imitation of Anthony Daniel's New Wonder Column Inside Every Star Wars Insider. So I feel the need to create something new. Something fresh. I have not written in my constant black composition notebook companion in some time(in fact, I have no idea where it is). So I think this would be an excellent time to bring this into the 21st Century.

First, we are going to toss out the word blog. I refuse to use that word from here on in. This is not a blog. Damn it! I said it again. That word is taboo.

Taboo word 1: blog

From now on I declare this to be the:

The Mystic Fool Daily Thought Column! *

Now,

There are many topics which I have covered in my many years of old-fashioned hand written journaling. I began what the Daily Thought Column(or Journal) in Fall of October and was mainly created as a way to reflect on the new friends, experiences, and all things in between as I began my rocky college career at the University of the Arts. I would write about girls that I was interested. I documented the saga known as my Quest to Woo that Little Ball of Energy named Adriana as well as our nightly adventures into the realms of magic, ghosts, psychic abilities and trying to burn the candle all at once(as opposed to both ends).

One topic that has come up repeatedly is the subject of religion and my personal views on God, spirituality, and asking questions which no one seems to have the same answer for (except for a few very wise people(but as Gandalf once said, "Even the very wise cannot see all ends.")). From my childhood all the way to the present, my family and I have been members of Sandymount United Methodist church. I went to Sunday School and as I got older went to Church as often as my parents did which was pretty much every Sunday. There were times that I questioned things about God and the Bible which did not match up to modern scientific discoveries and what I was learning in school, but on the whole I believed in God and Jesus Christ. I believed all the stories of the Bible and to this day I do not regret having a place to go and hang out with children my age and being a "Good little Christian." Most of my best friends from my childhood up until college I met through church or Boy Scouts(which was not affiliated with the Church except to use the facilities and pray to God once in a while.

When I got to college, I was placed into dormitory on-campus housing at Furness Hall with three other young males. We each were unique in our own ways, one was a punk rocker Seth, one was a stoner Kevin, and the other was a philosophical atheist named Dylan. And there was me, good Christian boy. Dylan did his best to convince me that what I had been taught in church was a lie, there is no proof that God exists, and I only went to church because my parents forced me to. While these are all valid arguements, I could not accept the idea that my viewpoint was wrong and Dylan's insistant attacks on my faith were enought to create a rift in our roommate situation. On the whole, my roommates were obnoxious, often bringing in contraband alcohol, illegally pirating animalistic porn, and getting constant noise violations and disciplinary reports which were often tacked up to the front door like academic awards along with the most obscene, offensive pictures, quotes and other shit.

We were in 2C, which was on the second floor. As a way to escape this den of evil where the chest labeled the Box of Sin served as our coffee table) I would venture down the hall across a walkway which overlooks the courtyard to the wing parallel to mine. There I would hang out with my friends Chris and Jeff who I met in the Summer of 1997. Eventually, I met Adriana and her roommate Jenny. I discovered that Adriana was psychic. She would give tarot card readings and taught me all about tarot cards. The Fool is the first of the Major Arcana cards which have illustrations of magical people, symbols, numbers, and each card has a specific meaning and often change when connected to other cards in a spread. Adriana also taught me about wishing, on pennies, on shooting stars, on beaded necklaces which we would toss up into the Wishing Tree(which is now gone). So I began to incorporate magic and points of view into my belief of supernatural or spiritual entities, energies, whatever.

It is important to note in addition to being a Christian and Boy Scout in my early years, I was also an obsessed fan of Star Wars and all related Expanded Star Wars Universe books, toys, games, etc. In recent years during a cencus in the UK some years ago many people wrote "Jedi" as their religion(I'll find the exact information later), but I think to some degree Star Wars is very much a part of my spiritual foundation. George Lucas himself has been quoted saying that he created Star Wars as a way to bring mythology to a young audiences and also to teach messages about what it means to be a hero, to have dreams and to see them realized, and to give children a spiritual education. A few years ago I read a biography on George Lucas and found out that he is also a Methodist. In a recent interview, he was asked what his religious affiliation was and he responded with "Methodist-Buddist".

If I had to put down an official label on my religious affiliation I think that "Methodist-Buddhist" is the closest one. However, I don't want to be limited by a label, because I believe that religion is just a tool, a method created by man to understand the great mysteries of our Universe. Religion is used to answer questions when science was not as wildly accepted and people were not educated or lacked the technology to provide evidence. On the other hand, I do believe that there is a spiritual core to everything, and that all the major religions have some good ideas on how to get closer to the Source.

In my next MFDTC, I will talk about the problems I have with religious institutions, times I did not know what I believed or considered the fact that Dylan was right, that religion is just a lie, there is no God, "God is dead" as Neitsche said. And then there are times when I have been 100% certain that there is a God and that I know where I stand, what I believe, and who I choose to follow, but there is always someone, either an atheist or Christian who feel the need to argue and prosthelitize their particular faith in God or a lack of God, to win me over to their side whether I'm on their side or not or do not seem to listen when confronted with an answer they never thought of.

For now I have to close and continue this tomorrow.

Peace,

The Mystic Fool

*abbreviated MFDTC (I like using abbreviations so this is the 1st of many)

LYFYS Quest 4-13-09

On Friday April 9th, I took a walk to the top of my road to the Royal Farms store, bought two Red Bulls, sat down and wrote the following:

There are places I call home
California
Philadelphia
Maryland
Each place has within it smaller places which I also called home
Los Feliz
Burbank
North Hollywood
Santa Monica
Venice
3rd Street Promenade
Logan Circle
Rittenhouse
2C, 2P, Furness
1330 Pine Street
1500 Pine Street
2115 Bethel Road

then there are places where no one knows about but me
The Headsets Bus Stop
The Place Under the Sun
The Windy Edge Some Call Mullholland
The Place of a Thousand Wishes

Some places are restaurants where I have practiced LYFYS or written stories, poetry, journal entries, declarations, and more
Bob's Big Boy
Panda Express
Little Pete's
The Harry Family Restaurant(no relation)
IHOP
Bob Evans
Starbucks
Karma Koffee

The Place of A Thousand Wishes

One night while living in Southern California, I took a walk up Lake Hollywood Drive. It was those Hollywood Nights, I want to say it was in October of 2006, in those Hollywood Hills. I encounters the most amazing lifelike deer lawn ornament which moved and revealed itself to be a real deer. I followed him up the hill until he disappeared into a grove of trees. I pressed on until I came to the place which overlooks Lake Hollywood and the lights of L.A. As I neared the spot, I saw a coyote who eyed me cautiously and slunk off into the night. I stood there looking down on the lights of L.A. looking up and seeing a billion stars. Shooting stars went shooting by. I thought about my friend Adriana, who taught me all about wishes in college. This, I thought, was a place where thousands of wishes zoom by, over L.A. where some wishes come true and others just die. I made a wish but I'm not going to tell you what it was. I will tell you the nugget of truth I discovered when I came back down and walked to the Starbucks in Toluca Lake.

It was the early hours just before sunrise. This moment, I wrote in my journal, is a great metaphor for the Great Awakening that is taking place in human consciousness. A new age is dawning, we are waking up slowly, but the sun has not risen yet, but people are awake or waking up, some are still sleeping.

Now, I am sitting in the Royal Farms at the top of my road. It is 3:35 P.M. Surf Safari by the Beach Boys is on the piped in satelite radio. A song from the American Grafitti soundtrack.

Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac

Refugee by Tom Petty- "Would you say that to Tom Petty?"

Billy Bob Thorton went on a Canadian talk show with his band but was in an odd mood. He was uncooperative with the DJ, answered questions with answers that were off-topic. He got angry that the DJ mentioned Billy Bob's film career saying, "I told you not the mention that shit." Billy Bob was either A. drunk B. tripping on something, or C. depressed or just looking to create drama. I saw the video on YouTube and of course people had posted all kinds of harsh angry comments tearing Billy Bob apart. Personally, I thought it was funny. People get so bent out of shape becase someone doesn't adhere to interview ettiquette or does something unexpected or "crazy". It's so easy to have a knee-jerk reaction and spout angry harsh opinions about Billy Bob's career.

It is similar to Juaquin(sp?) Phoenix who did an interview with David Letterman a few months ago with full beard, sunglasses, chewing gum, mumbling, giving vague off-hand answers to questions. Saying htings like he is giving up acting, starting a rap career. It was reminisent of Andy Kaufman who pulled a similar stunt a long time ago. There are a lot of actors and celebrities who have had "meltdowns" or "freak outs" or whatever Infotainment reporters call them. Then in a few years they do some indy flick or some role that takes people's breath away and make a huge comeback like Mickey Roarke or Robert Downey, Jr. Like the whole Britney thing. We only like her when we need some distraction from the two endless wars, economic crisis, and rising sea levels.

What does all this have to do with me?

My life is a series of high moments, good moments followed by a fall from grace or mental, financial, or some other kind of meltdown.

Sonny- artist unknown - "thank you for the sunshine."

Sometimes I feel like Jack Skellington - doing the same thing year after year- trying to hold on to some joyous experience but knowing there;s somehting else- something just beyond the borders of Halloweentown. He finds himself in the Holiday Grove. For me, instead of trees with doors to other Holiday towns, it is the center of my world, a crossroad with signs pointing to places I've been, places I long to go, to explore, etc.

Jack Skellington goes to Christmastown and gets a new perspective on a completely different holiday. He tries to gather what he's found and bring it back to his friends in H-town(the street name?) but they don't get it- they just don't understand- they look ofor what's spooky or twisted about Christmas- they don't understand the joy and wonder, the magic of Christmas.

California is my Christmastown. I've gone to California, stood on a hill of the the mountain of dreams, created some dreams of my own, discovered the teachings of ancient masters, met
spiritual teachers like Frank Sontag, Bo Lozoff, Benjamin Creme, Maitreya and the Masters of Wisdom, my own Master. People who have also felt that there's something else and discovered what it is, but the problem is you cannot know it all at once or it will destroy you. It is a slow-painfully process like a snake shedding its skin.

I have found moments, the briefest of moments of Love, Light, Blissful rolling waves of Consciousness. I have tried to bring them home and share it with people I love, but they just don't get it. Or they only see what they've always seen. They don't see the riches that Idiscovered. they only see a lonesome losrer with no attachment to this world, a Lost Soul. they don't see the way out of the endless cycle of death and rebirth, the prison of sensual gratification, relying on products and experts, no way and really no need to escape, though they my try.

Today I woke up in a dark place, in no mood for adventure, I took a walk to the top of my road, trying to find that point of clarity. That point of light where I know- just know - I see the bars of the prison- I see the guards, hear the change, the keys jingling, an endless playlist of songs chosen by a focus group committee in other to keep us stuck in a pattern so that you believe you have no control when a song gets "stuck" in your head. How does something that is essentially a residual audio memory get stuck? How do we get it unstuck? Do we wait until antoher jingle or song or text to push it out and keep us talking without speaking, hearing without listening.

I don't know where I am going with this. I am at a low point, and I pray for a revolution in my heart to turn this moment around. The Shadow is here, I wear it like a cloak.

Let it go. Socrates says, Let it go.

Lose-Yourself-Find-Your-Self Quest

In course of my life I have studied many spiritual practices and ways to tap into the great Source. The Great Mystery, God, The Force, Whatever you choose to call it. One way is a prank of sorts that I have developed mostly out of times of pain, crisis, joy or inspiration. It is part of one of my deeper, darker urges to disappear whenever things just get too intense or life just doesn't make sense.

It is inspired in part by an essay by Rob Breszny in his book, Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia, in which he talks about how he created the Beauty and Truth Laboratory while at Burning Man festival. (www.freewillastrology.com) He felt the urge to do a walking meditation out in the middle of the Utah desert (where Burning Man is held each year) he found dried out baby wipes and a felt tip pen and proceeded to pen the essay which outlines what pronoia is about and what his guiding principles are. LYFYS Quest is also inspired by a scene in the movie Peaceful Warrior, as well as the book on which it is based, Dan Millman's Way of the Peaceful Warrior, in which Dan's teacher who he calls Socrates, tells him to go sit on an old car in the movie, on a rock in the book, and don't come back until he has something of value some nugget of truth to share.

Here are the rules of LYFYS Quest(sounds like "Life is. . ." Quest):

1. Find a little notebook, notecards, a compostion notebook, something to write on and a writing implement- pen, pencil,

note: You could also use a laptop or tablet PC, however if you are tempted to check your e-mail, your Face or your Space page, or whatever it will distract you from the quest and defeat the purpose.

2. Get in your car, make sure it has enough gas, and drive
OR
Take a bus and ride
OR
Just start walking in any direction

3. Drive, ride, or walk to some place where you can sit and be at peace for a while, it can be a completely new place or a place you've never been before, turn off your cell or put it on vibrate, let people know you will be out of contact for a while(however long it takes) if you know you'll be missed.

4. Wherever you are. Sit. Watch people pass by if in a public place. Or listen to the birds, observer, experience whatever is happening at that moment. Just be in that moment.

Do not think about where you will be tomorrow, next week, or a year from now
Do not think about where you were yesterday, last week, or years ago
Be in the moment Here and Now.

5. When you get the urge: Write. Let whatever you have to say flow from your pen or pencil, do not censor it. If you can't think of anything to write, wait for it, watch, observe, listen.

The result may be 3 or 4 pages long enttry or a single line summing up this moment. If you hear music write down which songs come on the radio and what they mean to you.

6. Share it with someone you love, someone you think would benefit from your words, you may post it on this blog or email it to me at bretth313@gmail.com or just keep it to yourself, save it for someday down the road. You may read what you wrote and find it's the exact words you need to hear or you will see changes in how your thoughts, feelings, ideas have changed or how you reacted to things then as opposed to now.

7. If you find it works for you, do it once a month or as often as you feel you need in order to get the most out of it. You will get out of it exactly what you put into it.