LYFYS Quest 4-13-09

On Friday April 9th, I took a walk to the top of my road to the Royal Farms store, bought two Red Bulls, sat down and wrote the following:

There are places I call home
California
Philadelphia
Maryland
Each place has within it smaller places which I also called home
Los Feliz
Burbank
North Hollywood
Santa Monica
Venice
3rd Street Promenade
Logan Circle
Rittenhouse
2C, 2P, Furness
1330 Pine Street
1500 Pine Street
2115 Bethel Road

then there are places where no one knows about but me
The Headsets Bus Stop
The Place Under the Sun
The Windy Edge Some Call Mullholland
The Place of a Thousand Wishes

Some places are restaurants where I have practiced LYFYS or written stories, poetry, journal entries, declarations, and more
Bob's Big Boy
Panda Express
Little Pete's
The Harry Family Restaurant(no relation)
IHOP
Bob Evans
Starbucks
Karma Koffee

The Place of A Thousand Wishes

One night while living in Southern California, I took a walk up Lake Hollywood Drive. It was those Hollywood Nights, I want to say it was in October of 2006, in those Hollywood Hills. I encounters the most amazing lifelike deer lawn ornament which moved and revealed itself to be a real deer. I followed him up the hill until he disappeared into a grove of trees. I pressed on until I came to the place which overlooks Lake Hollywood and the lights of L.A. As I neared the spot, I saw a coyote who eyed me cautiously and slunk off into the night. I stood there looking down on the lights of L.A. looking up and seeing a billion stars. Shooting stars went shooting by. I thought about my friend Adriana, who taught me all about wishes in college. This, I thought, was a place where thousands of wishes zoom by, over L.A. where some wishes come true and others just die. I made a wish but I'm not going to tell you what it was. I will tell you the nugget of truth I discovered when I came back down and walked to the Starbucks in Toluca Lake.

It was the early hours just before sunrise. This moment, I wrote in my journal, is a great metaphor for the Great Awakening that is taking place in human consciousness. A new age is dawning, we are waking up slowly, but the sun has not risen yet, but people are awake or waking up, some are still sleeping.

Now, I am sitting in the Royal Farms at the top of my road. It is 3:35 P.M. Surf Safari by the Beach Boys is on the piped in satelite radio. A song from the American Grafitti soundtrack.

Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac

Refugee by Tom Petty- "Would you say that to Tom Petty?"

Billy Bob Thorton went on a Canadian talk show with his band but was in an odd mood. He was uncooperative with the DJ, answered questions with answers that were off-topic. He got angry that the DJ mentioned Billy Bob's film career saying, "I told you not the mention that shit." Billy Bob was either A. drunk B. tripping on something, or C. depressed or just looking to create drama. I saw the video on YouTube and of course people had posted all kinds of harsh angry comments tearing Billy Bob apart. Personally, I thought it was funny. People get so bent out of shape becase someone doesn't adhere to interview ettiquette or does something unexpected or "crazy". It's so easy to have a knee-jerk reaction and spout angry harsh opinions about Billy Bob's career.

It is similar to Juaquin(sp?) Phoenix who did an interview with David Letterman a few months ago with full beard, sunglasses, chewing gum, mumbling, giving vague off-hand answers to questions. Saying htings like he is giving up acting, starting a rap career. It was reminisent of Andy Kaufman who pulled a similar stunt a long time ago. There are a lot of actors and celebrities who have had "meltdowns" or "freak outs" or whatever Infotainment reporters call them. Then in a few years they do some indy flick or some role that takes people's breath away and make a huge comeback like Mickey Roarke or Robert Downey, Jr. Like the whole Britney thing. We only like her when we need some distraction from the two endless wars, economic crisis, and rising sea levels.

What does all this have to do with me?

My life is a series of high moments, good moments followed by a fall from grace or mental, financial, or some other kind of meltdown.

Sonny- artist unknown - "thank you for the sunshine."

Sometimes I feel like Jack Skellington - doing the same thing year after year- trying to hold on to some joyous experience but knowing there;s somehting else- something just beyond the borders of Halloweentown. He finds himself in the Holiday Grove. For me, instead of trees with doors to other Holiday towns, it is the center of my world, a crossroad with signs pointing to places I've been, places I long to go, to explore, etc.

Jack Skellington goes to Christmastown and gets a new perspective on a completely different holiday. He tries to gather what he's found and bring it back to his friends in H-town(the street name?) but they don't get it- they just don't understand- they look ofor what's spooky or twisted about Christmas- they don't understand the joy and wonder, the magic of Christmas.

California is my Christmastown. I've gone to California, stood on a hill of the the mountain of dreams, created some dreams of my own, discovered the teachings of ancient masters, met
spiritual teachers like Frank Sontag, Bo Lozoff, Benjamin Creme, Maitreya and the Masters of Wisdom, my own Master. People who have also felt that there's something else and discovered what it is, but the problem is you cannot know it all at once or it will destroy you. It is a slow-painfully process like a snake shedding its skin.

I have found moments, the briefest of moments of Love, Light, Blissful rolling waves of Consciousness. I have tried to bring them home and share it with people I love, but they just don't get it. Or they only see what they've always seen. They don't see the riches that Idiscovered. they only see a lonesome losrer with no attachment to this world, a Lost Soul. they don't see the way out of the endless cycle of death and rebirth, the prison of sensual gratification, relying on products and experts, no way and really no need to escape, though they my try.

Today I woke up in a dark place, in no mood for adventure, I took a walk to the top of my road, trying to find that point of clarity. That point of light where I know- just know - I see the bars of the prison- I see the guards, hear the change, the keys jingling, an endless playlist of songs chosen by a focus group committee in other to keep us stuck in a pattern so that you believe you have no control when a song gets "stuck" in your head. How does something that is essentially a residual audio memory get stuck? How do we get it unstuck? Do we wait until antoher jingle or song or text to push it out and keep us talking without speaking, hearing without listening.

I don't know where I am going with this. I am at a low point, and I pray for a revolution in my heart to turn this moment around. The Shadow is here, I wear it like a cloak.

Let it go. Socrates says, Let it go.